If you haven't already planned your spring break (I'm sure you have. This post is a lot like the Valentine's gift ideas that were posted on Valentine's day.), mbare.org has got some ideas for you. Whether you like warm and sunny or frigid and unforgiving, you'll certainly find it here!
How about the warm, white sandy beaches of Zanzibar?
Perks: Getting frisked by a Zanzibarian upon arrival.
Risks: Nobody would have any idea where the hell you were, U.S. State Dept. paranoid warnings about terrorists threatening this little sand pile in the Indian Ocean off the coast of Africa.
Are you looking for that exciting "Wild On" adventure? How about West Virginia: Mardi Gras in Appalachia?
Perks: Small local environment, culturally enriching
Risks: The event already took place on March 1st, Drunk hillbillies flashing themselves to you.
Interested in getting lice and rabies? Or maybe "death to America" is your kind of thing? You might enjoy a jail cell with this man (if they give these guys cells?)!
Perks: Torture by U.S. operatives in some obscure foreign country.
Risks: Be sure to pack plenty of duct tape to protect yourself from body hair (Oh my God, is it really true? Yes! They WERE right about needing the sticky, gray, quacking menace to guard ourselves.)
How about a 24 day excursion riding elephants in Sumatra?
Perks: Ride an elephant in true Bill Clinton-esque style!
Risks: Overnight accommodation in good medium class 2 person huts. Threat of your slow ride getting poached.
If you ever had hopes of seeing the Arabian Penninsula, Persian Gulf or Kuwait, the National Guard is currently offering free tickets in that direction.
Perks: This may be the most "bang" for your buck offered on mbare.org, Free, Warm
Risks: Watch out for stray nonexistant nuclear weaponry, passive Iraqi troops, Commander In Chief directives etc.
Or, if you're like me, you could travel to the ultimate spring break destination.
Perks: Great disc golf course, you can buy Sprecher Root Beer at the grocery stores, Premiere Cafe
Risks: Poor local economy, slow or drunk drivers, eternal boredom, being mauled by Tom Bare's dog, seagull infestation, diseased swimming spots (all of these people were rushed to Holy Family Memorial Medical Center for treatment of hypothermia and e-coli), frigid lake breezes
And finally, today's useless liberal babble:
Here's the GOP plan this time around, buy the election with cash. I have a better idea - let people keep their $250 million, save the trouble of trying this reelection stuff. That'd be absolutely fantastic economic stimulus. :P Regardless, I really doubt this will be an ideal '84 or '96 thumping by the incumbant. They wouldn't raise this much money if they weren't seriously worried. Though that sort of paranoia is expected from these guys now. A liberal's best hope? A strong third party conservative candidate.
I had not really considered where to spend spring break until reading your travel recommendations, Mulder, and I realized that since I cannot join you to make sock puppets in Wisconsin, I will have to visit my cousin. She has a very large hole in the ground, a good ways south of Wisconsin. I included her URL above, in case you have a hankerin' to look at a giant hole in the desert.
Posted by: Sard on March 4, 2003 12:06 AMUMMM...tom bare's dog is way cool! She loves me!!!
and west virginia is a great place to go for spring break...it'll change you're way of looking at things...it sure did for me!
Enjoy beautifulness of Lake Michigan! I'm sorry I can't be there too! But I left you a present!!! Happy Birthday!
Its not my birthday yet! Saturday is...!
Posted by: mbare on March 4, 2003 02:54 AMI think they call it "Warm Waters" for a reason. Also, the e-coli was only when the sewage treatment plant is backed up or something... Mmmm, raw sewage.
Isn't it strange that the water treatment plant is about 1/2 a mile from both the power plant outflow and the sewage treatment outflow? Sick stuff.
Posted by: jlb on March 4, 2003 03:12 AMI could not resist doing some simple research and fining the right photograph to make this comparison: http://www.geocities.com/mantylan/ron_shaikh.jpg
I'm sorry, but I think somebody made a really big mistake...
Posted by: Skidz on March 4, 2003 04:04 PMHrm.
The water treatment plant being near the sewage treament plant always bothered me until it hit me that the fish are a more likely and larger potential source for raw sewage than the plant is.
This is why we must take it upon ourselves to destroy all of the fish in lake Michigan. Wait.... wait a second.... Chicago seems to be years ahead of us on that plan.
and SARD!!! This is turning into Mirkwood the Blog.
--Dep (ummm Thlayli and Sayn from Mirkwood)
*waits for pedro the goat to make his debut*
Posted by: Dep on March 4, 2003 05:00 PMIf Pedro the goat came to mbare.org, I think I'd peee myself. Who owned Pedro anyway? I think it was Snuff, I don't think he'll be coming here anytime soon. :(
Oh yeah, may the powers DAMN Chicago for their jumping fish idiocy. Those are the things you're talking about right? They eat the little fishies and then they die themselves cuz they got nothing left to eat? Yah. Sorta like humans. (Cue Agent Smith and Matrix Reloaded! Wheeee!)
Posted by: mbare on March 6, 2003 02:45 PMBeware the goat.
Posted by: Pedro The Goat on March 6, 2003 06:49 PM