According to CNN, President Bush is no fan of cell phones, PDAs, laptops, iPods, DVDs, VHS tapes, 8 tracks, TiVo... I bet the man doesn't even have a calendar. Those were invented what, 30,000 years ago? Actually... it was 5,000 years ago in Egypt. Apparently, the Egyptians based their calendars on the rise of the star we now call Sirius, the brighest star in the summer sky.
President Bush uses this star as his signal to go to Texas and ride around on his fishing boat which does apparently have a GPS tracking system and a fish-finding device. I hope for his sake it works better than Army arms inspectors. 'Course there was weapons-grade uranium found in Iran, which Fark.com said Bush blamed on a typographical error, but the man doesn't have a computer, so that's not true.
Also missing from the President's desk is a calculator. I guess the abacus wasn't able to predict this:
That's the Federal Defecit, predicted at $480 billion in 2004. Now, figure in the excluded costs of the [guerilla] War In Iraq ($4 billion/week), and that's... wait I have a Ti83 Plus (which is for sale if anyone wants to buy it)....$7.04x10^11!!!! Yikes. That's a lot. Such is the cost of three tax cuts. Anyway, my biggest question is how did the guy get an MBA without a calculator? That might have something to do with that Sammy Sosa trade. No, that was just plain stupidity, which he's got plenty of.
He did however use that Segway scooter, and fall off of it, which is quite improbable. I never saw the photo before today:
I think I may have figured out what went wrong. Judging by his shorts, he is either A.) Stuck in 1978 or B.) Just out of bed (notice Barbara's night gown?). In the case of A, the aforementioned list of technology he lacks is explained. All but 8 tracks weren't around then. In the case of B, he was probably hungover and unable to fully control himself, the scooter, or the world. Mystery solved.
Too bad Al Gore didn't get elected... err inaugurated . He's on Apple's board of directors. He's said to enjoy making his own digital movies among other things. He did help lead the U.S. in its longest sustained period of economic growth etc...
As for me, I'm proud to sport cell phone, laptop, iPod and Swiss Army knife each and every time I head off to school.
Posted by mbare at August 27, 2003 03:14 AM
Is that George bringing up the rear, or a Secret Service guy?
Personally, I think George is wise to avoid technology. "Never play with something you don't understand" is a good motto. Now if we could just get him out of foreign policy, and domestic policy, and ...
Posted by: Joanna on August 28, 2003 01:26 PMso my pal has time to search the internet and use his technology, but not enough time to respond to an email and tell me how he's doing? I see how it is!
Bless the man with too much technology
Posted by: msg on August 29, 2003 09:08 PMShouldn't "Never play with something you don't understand" be enough to have him quit mucking with {foreign,domestic,any} policy?
Posted by: bass on August 30, 2003 02:50 AM