My mom has pestered me a couple times recently to tell her what I want for Christmas. I still haven't completed my list, or thought of anything that involves any real big amount of effort on her part. But anyway, here are some ideas for this holiday gift giving season!
The John Kerry For President mesh hat! mbare.org chief fashion consultant Tommy Rylander says "its sleek and attractive at .16 pounds!" Who needs those red stocking caps with the poofy white ball at the end?
Where better to hear sleigh bells ringing than from Inflatable Budweiser Speakers! But... what happens if you try to drink your music and listen to your beer? Are Budweiser drinkers smart enought to figure this out?
Own the World's Biggest Fishing Lure! This guy built "an 8-foot-long, 200-pound torpedo called 'Bassmonger.'" Great for catching a HUMMER of a fish. I prefer Strong Bad's jig. You can get your own 3rd world country for Christmas if you wave this thing in front of their faces.
Is your toilet insufficiently sophisticated? According to the Guinness Book of World Records, "The Washlet Zoe is the most sophisticated toilet in the world. Produced by Toto, the Washlet first went on sale in Japan in May, 1997. This remote-controlled restroom revolution has a record-breaking seven flash functions. They include an automatic, self-lifting lid and a built-in flush simulator that creates a sound effect to cover embarrassing noises. The seat is heated and the unit automatically freshens the air after use. There is no need for paper - the toilet washes and dries the user every time!" Do NOT miss the quicktime movie in the lower right. This is certainly Santa's [newest] Little Helper.
And the best gift? Check out this SLEIGH! The $363,990 Rolls-Royce Corniche Convertible. Though I would probably prefer the Porsche myself.
Posted by mbare at November 17, 2003 05:59 PMAre you kidding? That much for a toilet? Who would of thought shitting could be such a luxury. Although I probably would not enjoy having water shot up my ass, but hey, whatever it takes to shit in comfort. I would have to say I would take the Saleen or the Ferrari...actually, ANY of them would be nice. I'll ask the cruddy santa at Bayshore Mall that looks like he needs a couple of aspirin from last night's stint at the local bar if he can get me the car....hahaha.
Posted by: adam on November 17, 2003 08:36 PMBayshore has a Santa? Poor kids.
Posted by: mbare on November 18, 2003 11:20 PMYou also want your OWN web server space...
Posted by: jlb on November 19, 2003 03:41 AM